If Good Intentions Counted, I'd Be The Best Mom Ever

On the kids first day of school, I suddenly become all domesticy (real new word) and have such grand intentions of having a wholesome (or sometimes not) snack waiting for them when they get home, and make wonderful from-scratch meals for the family, and have the house clean (because the kids weren't home to mess it up all day) and generally be Carol Brady (with Alice's help) and Martha Stewart together in one fun size package.

The problem is that reality tends to get in the way of the Dream Me.

To say that the house is a mess is an understatement of immense proportions. You know how when you're not really home but just here for a meal or two and to sleep, and the house just gets trashed because you come home from wherever it is you were, dump all the stuff that you brought home with you, and start the day over? And dishes pile up in the sink, and the floors aren't swept, and the spiders know you're not really here so they have an arachnid party and invite friends and family from three states away and they build party swags in every room plus the shower (even though it's still used daily)? That was the whole month of August at our place, with the exception of those two days in the second week.

So instead of spending the entire week (or maybe the whole month) cleaning, I have mucho sewing to do. I took the kids Adjusted First Day of School picture, sent them on their way, and commenced to sewing. Things were clipping along rather well when the phone rang. Micah had two bouts of diarrhea and I'd have to come get him right away. There's that policy this year because of the swine flu.

I spent the whole summer with swine. I'm not concerned about the flu. But rules are rules.

When the school calls and you have to go get a sick child you shouldn't really take time to put on makeup and pretend that you're not so tired that your eyes are kind of squinty and very puffy and you're not pale from the cold that you're fighting off. I looked in the rear view mirror to see exactly how bad I was because I didn't want to frighten the children and was thinking that if I wasn't fighting this cold I'd have more sleep and would look better when the realization dawned on me that I heard Micah cough yesterday and I vaguely thought that he might have my cold as well (it's a fun drainage-only one) and that the diarrhea was a direct result of the swallowed gunk. (If you were eating, sorry.) So in my moment of revelation, I was glad to know that he wasn't really sick.

And sure enough, he wasn't. His aide even said so. But rules are rules. So Micah got another day off school.

On the way home I remembered that I had grand intentions of being Carol Stewart and stopped by the grocery store to buy a soup bone to make vegetable soup and frosting in a tube to make fun cupcakes for the kids to snack on after school (the not so healthy category, but hey, it's the first day of school. Sort of.) and $97 later I was out of there.

So now I have a horribly messy house, a not sick kid that has been home all day trashing it further, mucho sewing to do, soup to make, and fun cupcakes to find on the internet and attempt to recreate in my kitchen. I had to run Becky to physical therapy as soon as she got off the bus, I had more homework to do than the kids did what with all the start of the school year paperwork times four, someone was coming to look at a horse that I have for sale, and Sam had to run out of state on a corn maze errand leaving all the kids and homework in my care.

I think, once again, that my kids will realize their mom is Roseanne instead of Carol Brady. But good intentions count for something, right? I'll bet if I had Alice things would be completely different.


Michelle said...

Ummmm yeah, intentions count. And thanks for pointing out that all I'm missing is Alice. I feel much better now. As I look around the detrius :)

Cute first day pic!

Trisha said...

Intentions certainly count. Your kiddos know you love them cupcakes or not!

JennyH said...

We could all use Alice! Intentions count in my book! School has been going on for a month now. Granted, I still have 2 little ones at home during the day to help trash the place. It was mostly clean about a week and a half ago. Now, you can't even tell I touched a thing. sigh...

caramama said...

Good intentions totally count!

I think a live-in maid is the only way I would have a clean and organized house. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your writing. I totally get the running into the store to get two things and coming out negative $97.

Mrs S

PS. The dirt will wait on you while you recuperate. Dirt doesn't get bored and move on to other locations. Why is that? :(

Aunt Becky said...

Good intentions are all that matters. I know exactly how you feel.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Exactly! Alice was the one that kept all that shit together!

Suburban Correspondent said...

thanks for making me look like Martha Stewart by comparison...

oh, and thanks for throwing cold water on my annual "Gee, wouldn't it be better if all the kids were in school" daydream - I needed that!

Anonymous said...

Wait . . . you mean things don't get 1,000 times easier and better when the kids are in school fulltime?! I know they say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, but with cupcakes along the way, who cares?!

Roger said...

I'd rather live with "Roseanne" than Carol Brady anyday. Life would sure be a lot more fun! :)

Poltzie said...

Ok, all my comments are about that picture (which, I totally love)
1) Micah looks bigger and older but I love that he is protecting Woody so sweetly there!
2) I love that your middle kid wears your shirts on his frist day of school - you know you've made it as a clothing designer when!
3) Your oldest son looks beyond cool with his pose there!
4) Good God, to have a teen's flat stomach again - I'm beyond jealous!!

and 5) you have a seriously good looking bunch of kids there - who needs cupcakes!!