The Simplest of Minds Has Been Exposed

I do some research on dogs before I make a purchase. It's just common sense, really, to know what you're getting into. I mean, if a certain breed is not going to get along well with kids, or in a busy house, it's just not right for our family. Or yours, if you've got kids. After that, I look at things that the general populace really doesn't ever think about. Being that I breed the dogs, and they are here for that purpose, I need to know things like how easily they give birth (it's called whelping in this world that I live), litter sizes, the C-section percentage on average, and other things that you don't even WANT to know about. I don't either, really. It's disturbing the things I know about dog breeding.

So while I was doing research on the french bulldog, I learned that they don't tolerate heat and cold all that well. It's not a biggie since they'll live in my house. Except that thing where, for almost an entire month every year, our temperatures get so high that one really, really, REALLY wish that central air was something houses came standard with in the Vortex of Perpetual Winter. I asked breeders if this would pose problems for our frenchies, and they assured me that a fan would be just fine. We'll invest in fans for the dogs next summer when we get that one month of intolerably high 90 degree temperatures.

The winter, however, isn't a problem. The frenchies won't be expected to be sled dogs, so as long as they go out, do their business, and come back in, I'm fairly certain they'll live through that short arctic exposure. But in the event that they cannot, there are doggie coats. See?

That's more of a  doggie jacket than a coat, though. We find it highly amusing that it's Jack's jacket. Way more amusing than we should find it, really. We're easily amused, what can I say? But no worries. I've been eyeballing the down vest for Jack that zips up the back like a real down vest would. It's epic. And it has skulls on it, which is also funny. Totally bad, I mean. It's totally bad, and Jack would be bad wearing it. But I"m waiting until he's done growing before I invest in that $10 purchase. That striped jacket hoodie he's wearing there has already been outgrown. Jack has been eating his Wheaties. He's a growing boy.

But being that Halloween is coming, I couldn't wait to get him a costume. I got him the next size up from his striped hoodie, but apparently dog clothing runs comparable in sizing to ladies clothing. While a medium would fit in the striped wonder, it's just too big in the costume.

The costume? Oh, it's Frankenweenie. Hysterical, really, even if every dog will be sporting that same costume this Halloween. But since it's a bit large on him, it shifts slightly when he walks. Jack found this annoying. He looked back to see what had wrapped itself all around him, and then had the nerve to wiggle when he walked, and that's when the fun really started. 

Jack doesn't have a tail. It's a frenchie thing. But Frankenweenie does. There was something back there that kept following him, and he was determined to see what it was. Except it kept eluding him. Everyone knows what a dog chasing it's tail looks like, and I'm pretty sure everyone can agree that no matter how many times you see it happen, it's still funny. But Jack is a laid back kind of guy. He just doesn't get excited about things. Not even strange, unattached tails taunting him. So he kind of half purposefully walked a slow circle, no less than 18 times, trying to catch a tail that wasn't his.

I told you that I'm easily amused.


Cindy said...

Poor, confused Jack. It must have been hilarious!!

Chicory Blue said...

We put our dachshund in baby shirts. Cheaper. Ours wears a 12 month and we have to watch sleeve wouldn't have that problem. The husband wants to make her wear a Frakenwweenie costume and So far I have vetoed it. I am having trouble disconnecting my aging weiner dog and the undead weenie. Someone needs to go see the movie and ease my thoughts.