An Intro To Toddler Stripping

Isn't it funny how parents celebrate each tiny little milestone that their child accomplishes? I mean, walking and talking and sitting up and rolling over and all the big things are certainly celebratory, but I'm talking about things like "Aw, honey, he's picking his nose!" (Quickly followed by, "Junior, we really shouldn't do that because it's unsanitary and just plain disgusting".)

But I consider myself a wiser parent than some. This is for many reasons. The first of which is that it's not so much wise as it is the fact that I don't care enough. The child's binky fell on the airport floor, so what?! Plug it back in and let's go already. (Okay, in my defense, it was her 4th and last one, and we were 6 hours into a 12 hour destination-to-destination day and had been up for over 24 hours.) I also consider myself a bit seasoned because I'm currently working on my 4th production. I think this just means that I'm stupid, not wise, but I look for any pat on the back that I can give myself.

So when our 4th (at the tender young age of NEARLY 5) learned to take off his clothing and strut around naked, we were less than thrilled. I could see how this could be a lifelong benefit, but right now it's so much easier to keep him clothed. I do have to say, though, that we're grateful that it's not a full-blown case of Naked Toddler Syndrome. He only undresses when he perceives it's bedtime and the other kids go get dressed. He's such a follower. Truly, if others would jump off a bridge he'd giggle, wave his arms around a few seconds, and take the plunge.

So the other night we're sending the kids to bed when he realized that someone, somewhere, was getting dressed in pajamas. He wanted to do that, too. But he lacks the dressing part yet. He went upstairs fully clothed, and came down butt nekkid. Literally. The diaper was tossed down the stairs ahead of him, and upon sliding down the steps to reach it he grabbed it and twirled it around his head a few times in victorious glee, proving to us that he can strip with the best of them.

Only, unbeknownst to us, the diaper was a Live One. Small brown marbles were being flung out of that madly twirling diaper faster than a tired parent could take control of the situation. I am ever so grateful that it was small brown marbles because the clean up was much easier than it could have been. And that means he did not leave a trail down the steps as he slid into home.

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Have you entered the contest for a free shirt from my store? There's still time! I'll announce the winner Wednesday evening. Anyone who divulges an embarrasing episode is in the drawing. Go! Enter! Win!

30 comments:

Cecily R said...

WEll, at least it was marbles. Before I read that I was envisioning splats and that was just nasty. Thank heaven for marble poops!!!

Yeeee Hawwwww!!

Deb in OPKS said...

Un-con-toll-a-ble laugh-ter! That is so funny, I can just see it in all it's glory!

Peanut has learned to pull her pants down lately. Thinking this would make a great post, I started taking pictures. I quickly realized I had created a monster because she LOVES having her picture taken. So, she started pulling down her pants (or overalls) and then with them around her ankles would come looking for me for a photo op. Thankfully, I realized the errors of my ways and she started preschool with a wonderful teacher who has squelched this problem already.

As for the picking things up, we live near a McDonalds and will walk to it in the summer for ice cream or cookies. We were walking back this summer and my husband took Diva's cookie and jokingly took a bite. She did not think this was funny as it was now "contaminated" with daddy germs. So, she dropped it on the sidewalk. I picked it up, dusted it off and told her daddy did not have germs so eat the cookie. It wasn't until after she started eating it again that I realized, sure daddy may not have germs, but what about the sidewalk? Oh well, she lived and didn't get sick.

Jennifer said...

There is somethign to be said about goat poops, LOL. Having had to clean up behind many a poopy painting party, I will take marbles/goat pebbles ANY DAY.

And dont feel bad about the pacifier. I would "clean" a dirty pacifier by sticking it in my mouth, then popping back in the kids. I figure my spit is better than the floor, but not really.
~Jennifer

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

*Please don't let that happen to me.*

*Please don't let that happen to me.*

*Please don't let that happen to me.*

I am now grateful that our daily nudist colony parties have yet to include a poopy diaper. Thanks for the new perspective on things!

Laurel said...

Ohhhhhh! Does every mother have at least one good poop story? I guess it is a must. That is hysterical. I can just see everyone ducking flying poop missles, yelling "Stop! Stop!" Too funny.

And your underwear story has me in stitches!

jayna said...

Seconding BBM over here :-)

The child has yet to get over the UNdressing part, so hopefully we'll escape the nudist days!

Melissa said...

I am so not missing the diaper stage. So you have youself a little nudiepants, huh? How cute is that?

Karen said...

Melissa - the bad thing about strippers is that they will probably, at some point, leave their underwear at someone's house. And we all know how embarrasing this could be.

brneyedgal967 said...

Do not mistake those small round brown marbles to be WHOPPERS. I repeat, DO NOT! Alert the press! Contact the media!

Seriously, if a stray brown marble turns up - say in a few months, perhaps in a spare duffel bag... DO NOT pop it in your mouth.

*chuckle*

Sandy C. said...

Indeed it could have been worse! Much worse.

I used to clean my daughters pacifier by sticking it in my mouth too...so wrong, but it's better than her eating dirt i guess

The Sports Mama said...

Yet another reason to be thankful that my children were abnormally modest. :)

Tootsie Farklepants said...

OMG! Too funny! When Boy-Child#2 was a toddler he would take off his diaper, twirl it, and fling it while hollering "Whoopie-Whooooo!". To this day we use that phrase for lots of stuff.

Karen said...

Tootsie - that is just so wrong, and sooo funny. What clubs have you been taking that boy to?!

Madame Queen said...

LOL! I could totally see where that story was going, but fortunately for you it didn't have quite the ending I was envisioning.

I'm sooo behind on my blog reading that I haven't read any of the other embarrassing stories. I want a RP shirt so bad but I can't think of a single embarrassing story worth telling.

A pair of my panties once static clinged themselves to the outside of my duffel bag at camp, but I saw them and removed them before too many other people did!

girlymom said...

I found marble poopies in my daughters room yesterday, she woke up and decided to undress herself...she got a kleenex and "cleaned" it up by putting the marbles into the trash, yeah but not without stepping on one! :) Fun times. Ha.

Andrea said...

LOL! That is funny! I keep my house so cooled that mine always comes out of his room with more clothes on and says, "brrrr cold." I think I would scream and run if I saw little brown marbles!!

Maria said...

Oh, but he's just so darn cute! I totally know what you mean about the marbles. It means the difference between having to and not having to take a bath.
Maria

caramama said...

OMG! I thought that was SO funny I was laughing for 5 minutes! Ahhhh. I needed that. Thanks. :-)

Colleen said...

that is hysterical!

and it must've been the moon or something because Gavin stripped down in the family room, including his Elmo undies and danced around and twirled his shirt like a Chippendale's dancer. He hasn't reveled in his nekkidness in quite some time.

Colleen said...

oh, and I know my embarassing stories are pretty lame, but here's one more that I remembered:
When I was about 12, I was at a mini-golf place with my dad, 1st stepmom (don't ask), younger brother and younger stepsister. I went to the washroom because I thought I was starting to get my period. Thankfully I wasn't at that moment, but since I didn't have any pantiliners to kind of protect myself in case things developed before I got home, I just folded up a long length of tp and tucked it in my undies, just in case.
well, several mini-golf holes later, I hear my dad sort of mumble, "um, Colleen, you seem to be, uh, losing something." And sure enough, in front of my whole family, and the people waiting behind us, I had that nice bit of tp starting to fall out of my undies and unfolded itself out the leg of my shorts, but still had one end tucked up there, so I had tp trailing from my crotch, out of my shorts, and on the ground.
Thankfully, no blood involved, but still, mortifying enough for a girl of that age.

linds said...

My little Porter hasn't picked up on the nudest thing yet. *Phew*. He usually only takes off his socks, and thank heavens. Usually when he is naked he thinks its funny to watch himself pee on the floor.

Spammon said...

Sometimes poop marbles can be confused with Whoppers. I'd make sure they were all accounted for.

Kellan said...

What a little cutie - I can just imagine!!! I don't think I'd have been pleased with the diaper slinging - but it's funny!! Take care - Kellan

KIDZMAMA said...

I soooo needed a laugh today. Thanks! The enthusiasm in going down the stairs and flinging the diaper around like a real cowboy was too funny!

ALF said...

ha ha ha! It sounds like fun times at your house!

brneyedgal967 said...

***MEME ALERT***

Yes, you've been tagged. An incredibly fast and simple one. Details are on my blog. http://thecolorofhome.blogspot.com

Cheers,
Tammy

Pam said...

I know I shouldn't laugh- and it is only funny because it didn't happen to me - but ha ha ha! I am cracking up laughing at you retelling this story. You are a riot! I love reading your posts!

Flea said...

This mother has multiple poop stories, but I have to be drunk to tell them, ans I'm never drunk.

This was hilarious!

Shellie said...

Hee hee! We have die hard nudists at our house , all 5 of 'em. Thank goodness for deer poop! One of my kids ran 2 blocks away and then stripped down to nothing in a neighbor's yard. I was frantically searching for him, when I finally see him walking down the sidewalk from around the corner, nekked as a jaybird! "Where's your clothes?" I ask him and he took me another block away from the house and under a neighbor's tree. Random, I know.

summer said...

My daughter went through this phase of taking off her clothes. She took off her sleeper at nap time and before I got to her in the mornings - what a mess! A friend gave me information about a sleeper that kids can't get off. I gave the product a try. Yahoo! Something finally stopped her from doing this. It's called the Little Keeper Sleeper - check it out. It worked right away and I never had to clean another dirty crib! The website is www.littlekeepersleeper.com