Humane Societies Annoy Me

How's that for a controversial title? Let me clarify, I love the concept behind the Humane Society. There are too many unwanted dogs and cats out there, plus a host of lost ones that never find their home again. And it's a very good thing that someone had the compassion and business sense enough to start a foundation that allows these homeless pets to find families.

And I understand completely that as organizations grow and thrive, they've gotta make rules. I can see how dress codes might not be so important in a business like this as would, say, how often you clean the kennels. (And I'm also sure that things like kennel cleaning are determined by the Dog Law Enforcement Bureau.) But like any business, sometimes good rules go awry.

In plain language, sometimes a blanket statement doesn't cover everyone. The blanket just isn't big enough if you know what I'm saying.

In the past my family has adopted their fair share of pets from the shelter. It was always a bittersweet day when my mom stopped with us. We loved nothing more than to visit the animals and make their tails wag. And when we got to choose a new kitten, or replace a farm dog (aka, family pet) we were thrilled nigh unto death. But we knew that we couldn't adopt every four legged creature there, and we knew the fate that awaited them. Back in the day they had tags on the cages saying how many days were left until, well, the end. And it broke my heart. Those were the ones that I spent all my time with; petting, hugging and nearly crying right there with them.

But in the years since those early days, things have gotten out of hand. I am not eligible to adopt a dog, and for that reason I won't try. You see, I've committed the horrible sin of having pets that are not spayed or neutered. They do not care that I use them for a very controlled breeding program. In fact, this makes me worse in their eyes. But it doesn't end there.

My sister is the best pet owner there is. Sometimes I want to be her pet just so that I can be boarded at the kennel that gives massages. I want someone to bend down and wipe my feet at the door when I walk in. I would love someone to cook special foods for me when I'm not feeling well instead of tossing Saltines in my general direction. And she is incredibly vigilant in their medical care. You have no idea the extent this can go to. And trust me, you don't want to either. But she can't adopt a pet. She tried. She has a cat that helps with the mouse problem at the stable. And she wanted a companion for this cat so that he would not be lonely. (Not that the cat seemed to mind, but she was just trying to think of his emotional state.) She was not allowed to adopt a cat that would not be kept in the house 24/7. It was against the rules.

I understand this rule, really. If you adopt a dog and tie it to the end of a chain on the back 40 of your property (there are tons of people that do that here, and it breaks my heart) how much is that dog really loved? And how well cared for is is? Sure it might get it's vaccines and be fed regularly, but it's probably lacking in the love department. And if you get a cat and put it in the barn and hope that it catches enough mice to feed itself, you take the risk of starving it just so that it learns to do it's job. (I've heard it all, trust me.) And there's always the chance that an outside free-to-roam cat could get hit on the road. I know this first-hand.

My parents were turned down when they wanted to adopt a dog. My mom wanted a house dog to sit on her lap when she watched TV. To go to their cabin in the mountains (okay, higher up in the mountains) and keep them company when they traveled. It was going to be The Pampered One. She even chose one that needed it's hair brushed regularly because she had time to do that. And missed doing her daughter's hair. (No, I haven't let her do my hair since I was pre-teen.) But here's the catch. They're farmers. This means that they learned long, long ago that your vet bills are high enough without adding office visits to it. (Trust me, you think a monthly credit card statement is high? Try the monthly vet bill. Especially after a herd check. Our a surgical procedure. Ouch.) The vet doesn't come out as much since Dad sold the cows, but old habits are hard to break. We have a friend who's a large animal vet and he's more than glad to sell us medicines at his cost for our dogs. (Now you all know my dirty little secret.) Because of this, my parent's didn't have record that their farm dog had ever been to the vet. And of course this looked very much like he'd never had a vaccine in his life. Hence, my parents do not take care of their animals and they have been added to the Black List of the Humane Society.

It's a screwed up system, I'm telling you. I get so incredibly hacked when they whine and complain that there are hundreds of thousands of animals waiting for homes and nobody will adopt them. My foot. The fact of the matter is that they won't allow their animals to be adopted. Would it be the worst thing in the world to look at each case individually and make an informed decision from there? At least in our area it could be feasible. We're very small and rural here. We have dozens of animals, not hundreds. If the animals best interests are what's driving them, don't you think they'd try their hardest to get them adopted out? Maybe they should spend more time getting to know prospective families rather than making silly rules for adoption.

Hello? Humane Society of America? Are you listening?