I'd Rather Have The Hanger

We stopped at Starbucks the other night so that I could get something to get me through the next few hours of the evening without either killing someone or falling asleep before the work was done. Don't judge me, I know you've been there.

So while I was wondering why on earth my bra was trying to embed itself into my rib cage (why, oh why, do women have to be cursed with undergarment woes?!) I handed my 10% off every drink Starbucks Gold Card to the man at the window and went back to internalizing my private struggle with underwires.

He handed back the card, then got my drink. As he was holding my Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato out toward me, I noticed that he was intently staring at me. I became quite self-conscious because while I knew that there was absolutely no way he could know about my bra vs. flesh battle, I was beginning to wonder if I had a snot smear on my face or something. He was staring that intently.

As I drove off I immediately turned to Becky in the front seat beside me and asked if I had a hanger or something. (Hanger: the booger that should be wiped but instead hangs there, waiting for someone to grab a kleenex and just finish the job already.) She inspected me closely and declared that nothing was out of place.

It was then that I realized the look was directed past me. I was not being stared at, my daughter was. In a very clear "Whoa! Dude! Who is that chick beside you?" kind of way.

He's lucky that I had already taken a sip of my tranquilizer because I may have gone back to tell that punk boy something unpleasant. I don't care if you're not much more than 20 yourself. I don't care that my daughter is 13 and taller than I am. I don't care if you find her beauty attractive and simply wanted to get her attention to smile at her.

Dude. I am not old enough to have someone hit on my children. Understand?

19 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Shocking, isn't it? At least he didn't ask if she were from Czechoslovakia!

Michelle said...

Ouch! First carded and now this? This is getting cruel.

And ummm what kind of extra cool Starbucks card do you have, and how did you get such a treasured gift?

Flea said...

Bwahaha! It seems, dear, that you ARE old enough for punks to hit on your daughter. :)

Melissa said...

Holy cow! Have you had the Beckster fitted for her chasity belt yet? How about that rifle in the front hallway...cleaned and loaded?

Then your all set!

The Sports Mama said...

Welcome to the world of parenting cute teenagers. Now you know a portion of my disgustedness when girls will literally .... LITERALLY... launch themselves across entire parking lots, over cars (*I might be bit melodramatic) and into my son.

Designher Momma said...

oh fantastic post! At first I didn't "get" your title...but now I completely agree.

If you were me, you would stop going to that starbucks, and go to one of the other 18 that are established within a 1 mile radius of your house....

Jennifer said...

oh MAN. What a revelation to have! hehe... though she is a cute girl :) But she THIRTEEN, gah!

(Keri) Auburn Gal Always said...

Sheesh. That hurts in a way that makes The Mighty Hunter start cleaning his guns and take target practice.

mommaof4wife2r said...

let me tell you...that happens to me with paige! i yelled at a guy the other day "that's illegal". paige said thanks! can you believe that!

ps...i kinda wish you had a hanger!

the planet of janet said...

OUCH. i totally vote for the hanger.

the day my girlfriend's husband told me that the roo-girl looked hot, i wanted to:

1) throw up.

2) DECK the sombitch!!!!!!!!!

Trisha said...

Yikes! Your daughter is certainly too young to get that kind of stare! I would say the young man is lucky you didn't throw your coffee in his face!

Burgh Baby said...

He probably thought she was your sister. Just sayin'.

utmomof5 said...

Hee Hee!! Sorry I am laughing bu that is too funny :)

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, honey. I remember sooo well when Kes was no more than 14 years old and John and I were walking in the mall with Kes and her girlfriend walking up ahead of us. How uncomfortable it was watching all the boys and YOUNG MEN walking the other direction turning around looking at her as they walked by. It made me crazy. I just wanted to yell at them to stop looking at her, "SHE'S ONLY 14!" She looked every bit of 19.

Andrea said...

OH my!! I don't know if I am ever going to be able to handle that!! I would have rather had 2 or 3 hangers than have some 20 something guy checking out my daughter. That is when a gun rack comes in handy. Do you think it would be redneck to have on on the back of my van???

Trannyhead said...

*hoping I have no girls yet again*

Karen said...

I have a friend who would give her daughter a secret sign that this was going on and then her daughter would pretend to pick her nose. You think Becky would be in on that? Ha ha ha ha.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Hah. the woes of having a beautiful daughter!
Oh, and here hangers are called "Bat in the cave"

Jen said...

LOL! I guess it's good that you didn't have a booger...