It's Those Darn Panties Again

I love when new readers find my blog. Sadly I am beginning to think that I'm not all that (neither do I come with a bag of chips) because readership isn't going up.

Wonder if I smell?

Of course maybe these new readers aren't finding what they're looking for when they stumble across my blog. With a name like The Rocking Pony who knows what they're expecting. It could be anything from a kids' toy review to something a little on the wild side that I don't want to know anything about.

I'm thinking it may be the latter since I seem to be known throughout the entire world (it's bigger than just the blogosphere) as the woman with public panties. The ironic part is that I'm incredibly prudish. As in, those panties were the grannie style. No wonder those new readers don't hang around long. Am I giving mixed signals? I get so many variations of those panties, too. Like panties in front of, holy panties, ladies panty contest, no underwear in public stories, panty humiliation stories, taking off panties in public, forced to wear panties, and embarrasing panty stories. (Incidentally I'm #1 on the list for that one.) And those are the ones just from this week alone. See how famous those tidy whities have made me? Imagine if I'd have been the winner of Butt Fest '08!

(I don't even want to know about being forced to wear panties. I'll just say congrats to the mama who is singlehandedly combatting The Commando Kid.)


There are others, though, that don't know that my panties exist publicly. Thank goodness. I've helped people plan stellar dinner parties with games around the dinner table. No meal is complete without a rousing game of Duck, Duck, Goose. Glad I could help. Could you imagine how lame that party would have been otherwise?

Toddles stripping has me a bit confused. I can only guess that someone has major problems when they get a wee bit tipsy. We have no toddles. We do have toddlers, and stripping is a problem on occasion. You will find all sorts of amusement here on the subject, but no help. Go elsewhere and bring the answers back.

Nudist Camps is a direct result of the toddler stripping, but I know for a fact that person did not find what they were seeking. Yes, we're raising a redneck nudist, but it's not a camp by any stretch. We do not want your nudists to add to our little redneck party.

Ponies who ignore their crickets made me scratch my head in wonderment. I've got nothing. I'm pretty sure the one searching this had nothing too. I also got potty train pony. I have a hard enough time potty training kids, there's no way I'm attempting the ponies.

We are first in the Google search for Ugliest Couple. I'm a tad offended by this. I know there's this picture to prove that we could be, but haven't you ever heard that the clothes make the man?

I had forgotten that my Dyson smells. Let's hope nobody else was dumb enough to suck up a diaper because that'll do it every time. (If you didn't click over to the link, you've gotta know that I wasn't the one that did the vacuuming that day.)

Dollar General you dont have to get dressed up. Yes, people, this is obviously common knowledge. If you want to shop in your jammies, Dollar General is the place to be.

What does it mean when a dog phantom pees? I'd like to know that, too. As well as what a phantom pee actually is. In all my vast experience of dog ownership this is a new one on me. But now that I'm aware of it's existence I'll probably be going to the vet for it in the very near future. My dogs couldn't live with themselves if they didn't allow me to fully experience every head-scratching malady not known to man.

Gardening for Idiots has probably inspired several people to go plant, trim, weed or ignore their garden. I feel as though I've done my part to help those less fortunate. And here I thought my post was only for my benefit so that I didn't repeat the same mistakes twice. I was also discovered as being the happy gardener. It appears as though my little secret is out. Lets hope they don't discover my meth lab next.

I kid, I kid. Geez.

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And on another note, if you're going to send me spam email don't write it in Chinese. How on earth would I know if I want to be "longer and longer, larger and larger" if I can't read it?




26 comments:

Justin said...

I don't have anything really funny in my Google Analytics; but what is interesting is apparently I'm a fortune teller because of the phrase "who are you" has landed me 12 hits and "dumb conversations at work" for my IM chat logs articles.

Pam said...

I guess one of these days I should really looks a my google analytics. But I might be scared at what I see.

You are too funny! I love that shirt too!

Andrea said...

I love to read my google analytics. I get all sorts of funny things too!! I love Micah's shirt!! That is so cute with the back on his back!! I want one!!! The puppies are so cute!!

Laski said...

Ugliest couple around? No, that's just what happens when bad clothes happen to good lookin' people :)

I can't believe that panties play such a huge role on this blog!

And, nice touch with the puppies.

Puppies and panties. How perfect . . .

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

I've gotten some disturbing google searches. Somehow, I KNOW they didn't find what they were looking for on my site! lol

I'm glad I found you. I enjoy your blog a lot.

Karen said...

Laski - now you've gone and done it. Linking puppies and panties will brand me forever as the freak that makes her dog wear granny panties.

Kellan said...

I read all about the puppies - they are so darling and I loved the story about Micah and the VCR - how cool. That is the cutest shirt he has on - I'll bet you made that - darling!!

Have a good WEdnesday, Karen - see you soon - Kellan

Debbie Yost said...

It's a little scary what people are looking for out there. The puppies are so cute!

Colleen said...

that's hilarious... I keep getting searches that include "boobie" and "boobs" and, my favorite, "fun little boobies"...almost none about wine.

Michelle said...

You're inspiring me to go check out who may have searched me out. I don't think any of mine will be nearly as interesting as yours. The poor confused people who come to your site though!

The Sports Mama said...

Odd though it may be, I think I'd rather be getting hits from my mention of my lucky undergarments than the number of hits I get for "teenage boys and women's underwear"... especially as I've NEVER combined the two topics!

Kari said...

The number one thing people google to get to my site is Chanelle. Judging from some readers choice of words I do know that ALOT of the people that visit certainly did not find what they had in mind.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You've reminded me that I need to check my referrals again; it's been a while. I love how the more you right, the crazier they get.

I'm branding you the Underwear Wearing Dog Lady that Gardens.

Cecily R said...

How come I only get searches for Moon Boots and purple chicken pox?

That shirt is AWESOME!!!

Sandy C. said...

Dog Phantom Pee? Whoa, that is bizarre! I love checking out how people find me too. I find it much more entertaining than reading my own blog ;) Yesterday someone found me with "Peeing outside environment compost" *raises brow*

LOVE that shirt!

Tranny Head said...

Ok,I LOVE that ugliest couple photo. Hawt. Seriously hawt.

THE MOM BOMB said...

Does a dog phantom pee? Is that kind of like "if a tree falls in the forest . . . ?"

The Dyson/diaper fiasco made me smile.

Melissa said...

Sheesh! I never get searches on my panty post...just confirming once again that indeed, you are special!!

Madame Queen said...

Bwahahahaha! Those are good, but I think my favorite is about potty training ponies. HA!

I get a ton of links from people looking for a picture of Katie Holmes. It's probably Tom, cruising the 'net!

Susan said...

Well, I get a lot of strange ones having to do with "divorced white women who wear pantyhose" -- because you know, if you have a Hanes fetish, better make sure she's divorced. Or, the one I was telling you guys about that night (although you may have left by then): "fat and sick single mom dating". Well, there's a compliment.

But the ones I've been getting a lot of since writing my "celebrity loves: where are they now" have to do with, um, male celebrity bulges. Leif Garrett seems to be quite popular.

(And how do you potty train a pony?)

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

You know what the butt fest winner gets hits from? Yah. Neither do I. I'm too afraid to find out. So, I have never checked. Except one time when BBM made me & talked me thru it.

The front & back shirt is too adorable.

caramama said...

I love hearing about the searches! Too funny!

And those puppies are killing me! I just want to snuggle with them... not take them home... just snuggle for a while...

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh my gosh-- I am in hysterics and you're likely to be the cause of yet another wet mess to clean up in this house-- mine (note to self, always use the toilet before reading RP's blog). I have no idea why your readership doesn't go up-- unfortunately for you the Tax Time switch forced me to read through your posts so that I could get to know you and I've never gone away since. I love your blog-- from your impatience with little old widowers in the check out line to Micah licking a grocery store. Love it all!

Becoming Mommy said...

I actually think I might have found you with "toddles stripping". You see, my stripping toddler requires that, while at home, I type with at most 2 fingers. And therefore, I typer TERRIBLY.

And ahhh...corgis...would that I owned a nice, easy, short-legged dog like that!!!!

Shellie said...

giggle. I'm glad you send out mixed signals, it makes you even more interesting. Love the Chinese ad thing, and the shirt and the puppies are so cute!

Michelle said...

You sure did get some crazy searches! I always check out the searches that have landed someone on my blog too; I often wonder what in the heck they were actually searching for.